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The Zombie-Proof Cupcake & recipe trials


The Zombie Proof Cupcake

I will admit it. I have returned to this recipe again and again not because of its taste (though excellent), its texture (needs improvement), nor even that freshly baked smell they waft throughout the house (simply glorious). It is because it is the quickest, easiest way to achieve cupcakes. The weights and measures are simple, and the stick-it-in-a-bowl-and-blitz approach means that you can get from raw ingredients to finished product in well under 30 minutes, perhaps even 20 if you were really pushing it.  Plus, the batter is so delicious that you can enjoy them even if you can’t get to the oven.  Basically, what I am trying to say is that if you ever need to make cupcakes in the event of a zombie attack, this would be the recipe to choose. And I mean, who hasn’t found themselves in that awkward situation that the undead are closing in just as it is time for afternoon tea?

***Update – with the pink buttercream frosting shown in the photos (apologies for the quality), these cupcakes were so so good. The judging team at Apocalypse Bakery has decreed them as ‘what cake should taste like’, and ‘were disappointed to return to other cupcakes.’ I think that is a pretty good result given their ease, and the fact that they went slightly wrong. Even though this is the recipe I make a lot, I had forgotten just how good they were.***

It is entirely possible for you to bake these cupcakes whilst throwing vinyl at the undead.

However, as much as I love this recipe, I am wondering if there are better cupcakes out there. And as much as ‘imminent apocalyptic event’ is a worthwhile category to judge a recipe by, there are other criteria that need to be considered for Apocalypse Bakery’s various cupcake needs.

This week Apocalypse Bakery will be testing some different vanilla cupcake recipes, and trying them out in the following ways:

1)   Plain, unadorned cupcake

2)   With a plain icing (icing sugar and water)

3)   With a buttercream icing  (butter, icing sugar, vanilla essence, maybe strawberries)

4)   As a Boston Cream Pie Cupcake (pastry cream filling and chocolate ganache icing)

The cupcakes will be awarded points for: taste, texture, versatility (i.e. can it become the basis for lots of different fillings/icings) and, of course, ease of baking in the event of zombie attack.

So if you happen to be around this week, and fancy dropping into the Apocalypse Bakery to be a cupcake taster, invite yourself over. I can just about guarantee that there won’t be zombies. Just drop me a line before hand to check that I’m in!


The Zombie-Proof cupcake.

From Nigella, but she calls them fairy cakes.

Because I believe that you don’t need fancy equipment to bake, I have included the old-school approach as well as the food processor ‘blitzing’ method.

Ingredients

125g self-raising flour (if you only have plain, then add a teaspoon of baking powder to this mix too)

125g butter, at room temperature

125g caster sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla essence

Milk – about 3 tablespoons (it’s up to you to judge the consistency)

Cupcake batter...mmmmm.

The blitz method

This requires a food processor or hand-held blender

Preheat the oven to 350oF, 180oC. Fan oven 160oC.

1) Shove everything except the milk into the food processor/ bowl.

2) Blitz. Yup, that’s the step.

3) To get the right consistency for the batter, add the milk, tablespoon at a time, and keep blitzing.  The ‘right’ consistency is so beautifully described as a ‘soft dropping consistency’ – basically, it should lightly fall off the spoon, but it shouldn’t be runny.

4) Spoon the batter into the cupcake cases. They are good between ¾ to ½ full.

5)Bake for 18-22 minutes.

Apologies for the randomness of the timing, but it is best to judge. They should be light brown and the tops should be springy to touch. I promise you, they will smell amazing. Bake them, even if you don’t like cupcakes, purely for the smell.

The finished cupcakes

The old-school approach

All you need is a bowl and a wooden spoon….and an oven.

Preheat the oven to 350oF, 180oC. Fan oven 160oC.

1)   In a large bowl, cream the butter and the sugar together until light and fluffy.

2)   Add the vanilla essence and eggs, and beat the mixture so that it is well combined.

3)   Mix in the flour, until it is just combined. Be careful not to overbeat the mixture.

4)   Spoon the batter into the cupcake cases. They are good between ¾ to ½ full.

5)   Bake for 18-22 minutes.

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6 comments on “The Zombie-Proof Cupcake & recipe trials

  1. Get Liz back
    Make up with Mum
    Sort life out
    MAKE CUPCAKES

    • I do believe that making cupcakes would have helped with the other three to-do points, shame they chose not to include a short baking demonstration in the film. For some reason I think Nick Frost would make an excellent cook show host.

      You’ve got BREAD on you.

  2. why why why am i on the other side of the world when there is zombie proof baking to be had?!

  3. Pretty photos! Goodbye ugly zombies! Take your sour zombie faces away!

  4. Thanks Hannah. It was actually my first time using an icing bag and tip, so I am pretty pleased with the results, even though the photos of the icing weren’t that great. I think any sour faces could be removed with this yumminess.

    Manders, it is still a mystery to me why I can’t feed you cake and why you aren’t here. I’d post you some cupcakes, but I’m not sure it would a) still be fresh and b) get past your country’s import rules. For now you will have to settle for the recipes. Do they have zombies in NZ?

    • Stupid import rules….grumble groan grumble groan. Probably, like most people and mammals in general here, zombies weren’t an indigenous people group but that hasn’t stopped them making there way here! The baking will definately be needed!

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