How rude!

Three posts in and I haven’t introduced myself yet. Well, where are my manners!


Nice to meet you.

(Do you come here often?!)

**This is also in the updated About Apocalypse Bakery section.**

About me

I live in a cosy wee Edinburgh flat, which I share (permanently) with my man and our books, and (sometimes) with friends and family.

I am a postgraduate student in a subject that I love, but a format that I don’t love, and so I am constantly trying to reconcile the topic and the process into something creative, reflexive and nourishing.  But when that is not working out, I bake and read. I drink lots of tea.

Just to prove that I am always drinking tea.

*Photo by the lovely Lillian and Leonard.

Why the Apocalypse Bakery?

Well, the idea really started because of the dreams that I have. Most nights, I will have some kind of dream about the survival of humanity in the face of an apocalyptic event. However, I discovered something strange whilst reading my way through the Dark Tower series. On days that I entered into King’s crumbling universe, I had pleasant dreams about making cakes. On days that I did a lot of baking, the dreams returned to images of the world unravelling like a ball of wool (to be knitted into a scarf for a psychotic overlord). Clearly, I decided, my mind must be telling me that there is some sort of equilibrium between baking and the apocalypse that I must maintain. Perhaps, even, baking is the way to prevent ‘early-onset-apocalypse’, and so I must bake to save the world from disaster?! Surely monsters and demons and power-hungry corporations can be fought by the power of cake?  (I had imagined custard-pie throwing style, but that is a waste of decent cake, so maybe I need to rethink that one.)

I am an experi-mental, mistake-making amateur, so I make no claims to the quality of my abilities. My baking style is casual-perfectionism; I know that precision is sometimes important, but I’d prefer not to get stressed about it.

I hope to provide some straightforward recipes here, and detail some of my mistakes experiments with slightly more complicated things.  If you like cake, but don’t bake, then maybe I can persuade you to try something, but equally, you could just invite yourself over.  Please do submit suggestions for recipes that you would like someone else to road-test/kitchen-test for you, or anything else you would like to see featured here. I may even be able to suggest what kind of cake to make in order to survive/celebrate apocalyptic events in your life (nuclear explosions, birthdays, psycho-social conditioning, weddings, technological degeneration, baby-showers…depending entirely on your outlook on life).

I enjoy dystopian/apocalyptic/ fantastical fiction, but again, I am by no means an expert on the genre, so my discussions of books here is hopefully to generate response and interest, rather than to provide a guide.  I’m also hoping that I will get some illustrators to provide pictures for some of my classic apocalyptic dreams.

A word about ‘apocalypse’.

I am not a prophet of doom, I don’t think the end is nigh.  My crazy dreams are not dark and filled with death, they are about the survival and adaptation of humanity as the world moves on. I like dystopian fiction and film because it raises interesting questions about the way we reason and justify in our present culture. Essentially, ‘apocalyptic’ as a category helps me to think more about the horizons and boundaries of our societies and communities, and to constructively question the way I think and live. Hopefully, in order to share in greater goodness and beauty. Cake is an important part of that process, as it is good and beautiful – especially when it is shared with friends.

Well, good people, that is more than enough about me, what about you? Anything that you would like to see featured on Apocalypse Bakery?


8 comments on “How rude!

  1. hehehe, you know, I think it’s the place where we study, dear Clare.
    My current chapter is entitled ‘fasting in the face of the apocalypse’ and does feature a sentence with ‘dystopian’ in it:
    ‘Throughout the Order of the General Fast Knox portrays a dystopian past, present and future, caused by the persistent faithlessness of the people of God.’

    All I can say is: beware the zombies…
    *looks around nervously*

  2. Or maybe it is the other way round….maybe we study theology because we have apocalyptic imaginations! Given that Duncan Forrester wrote a book called ‘Apocalypse Now’, I think there is a case to be made!

  3. Clare, dear one, I am an historian… we deal with facts, not creative writing…
    *grins, then runs away before being slapped*

  4. Historians deal with facts in teh same way that mathematicians deal with stats. We just play around with them till they say what we want them to say

    Could you road test an Anti-Vampire Hot X Bun?

  5. Anti-vampire hot cross buns…I like the sound of it, but given the current vogue of vampires, I am inclined to stay away from the topic!

  6. Hmmm, good point. Plus just cooking a good sirloin should be anti vampire enough. New recipe for u to try:

    Golden Polenta and Olive Oil Cake

    175g self-raising flour, 1tsp baking powder, 225g caster sugar, 50g coarse polenta, 225ml olive oil, 4 eggs, juice and zest of orange, juice and zest of lemon, icing sugar to serve.

    Preheat Oven to 170 C. Grease a 20cm circular cake tin and line with baking paper

    Place flour, sugar, polenta and baking powder in a bowl and mix. Make a well in the centre and pour in the oil. Drop in the eggs one at a time, mixing with a wooden spoon to make a smooth, thick batter.

    Lightly beat in the orange and lemon juice and zest. Spoon mixture into prepared tin and smooth the surface. Place in a pre-heated oven and bake for 60-75 mins. Cake is ready when it is firm to the touch and starting to shrink from the sides of the tin.

    Dust lightly with icing sugar before serving

  7. Sorry, it’s from a New ‘Slow Cooking Bible’ i got for £1, i shall try and remember to scan whatever images are in it when i get home. If not i can just send u photos of other things that could be believed to be said cake. I quite liked teh look of it but since i’m endeavouring not to teach myself to bake i thought you might like it too.

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